Wags Colleen and Carly hit the phones

The Wag club

They're rich, they're gorgeous, they're ridiculous, they're everywhere!

Wheel out the Wags!

Even stiff cultural barometers like the Guardian have fallen under the spell of Blighty's foremost consumerist cuties, giving over top-billing in their latest G2 section to England's favourite Gucci-grabbing Black Amex batterers.

In a report from the Wives And Girlfriends' HQ in Baden-Baden, the "sideshow" (Guardian) put on in the genteel German town by the England players' designer-draped significant others is proving a lot more dazzling than their blokes' football.

The Graund's Marina Hyde amusingly follows the distinctive clatter of Jimmy-Choos-on-cobbles to check on the shopping 'n swanning about antics of Posh, Chezza, Colleen, Carly and the rest of the glam-tastic girlie squad.

We reckon the Beeb and ITV should simply turn their cameras on the Wags during the England matches for the real entertainment.

Meanwhile in the Times, we're relieved to take in the news from our Dear Leader Sven-Goran Eriksson that he's "not married to David" - as in David of the Beckham variety, who's getting lambasted for a lacklustre display against Sweden, after being lauded in other recent games.

So you've got that? Sven's not wed to Becks. Phew. That'll save old tiny-teeth yet another severe Prada handbagging from Nancy - at least for now.