Becks slams 'saddo'

David Beckham has risen above personal attacks in print against his family by a German red-top tabloid.

A supposedly humorous column in the infamous Bild rag laid in to the soft targets of Becks' mum, sister and kids.

Among the 'hilarious' critiques were the assertion that "professional sister" Joanne is "fat", with a very British backside and arms, claiming she's the sort of girl who'd get hammered in a bar in Majorca and dance topless on the table.

The reporter also branded the Beckham boys as "dwarves".

How nice. It's a common fact that kids are generally shorter than adults.

In response to the grubby provocation, the England skipper added that "you have to realise there are some people out there who are a little bit sad".

You're not wrong there, Davey boy.