Cow chants canned

Our undercover sources already holed-up on the continent tell us German footie supporters aren't going to be allowed to sing BSE chants to us English at the World Cup.

Why? Because they're not even remotely amusing, perhaps? Nope. It's all down to the blinking PC brigade, apparently.

Pleasingly disregarding any calls for taste, decency or political correctness on an average day, the Daily Star has happily jumped in to berate any hint of anti-patriotism.

The rag has delightedly reported that "German football fans have been banned from taunting England with chants about mad cow disease". The wags.

Since the recent lift of the ban on exporting British beef, the chants are now seen as inappropriate. And, as we said, not even slightly humorous.

An FA snoop tells the rag: "For the past 10 years certain German fans have taken great pleasure in wearing horns, making mooing noises and mocking us about mad cow disease on the terraces."

You crayzee guys, you kill us, you do!

"But after the EC ruling, they can't do that any more. It's certainly one-nil to England."

Great news, ja?

Surprisingly, nothing has been said about taunting the Jerries, sorry, Germans about the war, sauerkraut, David Hasselhoff or Hitler.