Crouch fever

"C'mon everybody...Let's do the Crouch!" cries the Guardian's G2 bit, with a step-by-step guide to the lanky lad's goal celebration this week.

While most players dive, jump, or run around like a mad banshee, the 6ft 7in giant decided to go for the robotics.

And the fella had put a bit of thought into it, according to the paper, which reports Crouch "premiered his own unique version of robotics at the Beckhams’ lavish World Cup party".

Bet Posh was loving it.

In a feeble attempt to make the mad moves into a double page G2 feature, some poor hack has been sent around the country trying to persuade members of the public to have a go at the dance.

What is journalism coming to?

Our favourite quote comes from 10-year-old Jamie Grimes from Liverpool: "I'm better at dancing than he is but I don't think I could score a goal like that one. Can we get the Guardian from a normal newsagents?"