Robo dance hell over

Some news is earth shaking. This news is hip shaking.

Apparently, nubile Colombian singer Shakira has been giving the England squad a few pointers on goal celebrations.

The gyrating warbler has taught them how to dance, according to Top of the Pops.

"I've shown them how to shake their hips like I do," she revealed. "Maybe they will do it if they win, but maybe they will be too shy."

And sure enough, last night, daddy long-legs of the pitch, Peter Crouch, appeared to wiggle his skinny hips instead of resorting to his silly robotic dance.

Steven Gerrard, on the other hand, merely gazed up at the sky and thanked the lord, which Shakira probably told him to do anyway.

And, we wonder, did she have to write the letters 'L' and 'R' on Wayne Rooney's hips to be understood?

Besides, what's wrong with some good, traditional Morris Dancing? Score a goal, flounce your hanky and smack someone on the head with a balloon, that's what we say.