Wills' royal visit

Poor Prince William. There goes the future king to show his support for Our Boys (the football variety) at a training sesh, and the poshie has to suffer gangly Peter Crouch "amusing" his teammates with that "hilarious" dance of his.

Look at "World Cup Willie" (Daily Mirror) there, on the front of said paper, pretending to find the 12ft goon's robotic antics a hoot.

Actually, cynicism aside, the royal personage ingratiatingly dubbed Crouchy's display as "classic", while "soccer clown prince Peter" said how "surreal" it felt to be larking in such a manner in front of the future king.

Willie is also clocked looking at his watch while Sven rattles on to him, no doubt, about 'systems' or such like.

And on the front of the paper, the prince holds out his hands as if he's making a grab for a pair of imaginary boobs as Sven sits in rapt attention.

Perhaps he was telling the attentive Swede about his younger brother's last trip to the Slough branch of Spearmint Rhino.