The sweat En-gland

"Goodness gracious, late balls of fire!" squeals the Sun as England beat Trinidad and Tobago 2-0 in the World Cup to guarantee qualification to the next round.

The collective mood on the coverage is one of relief: "We're ThRoo" yelps the Daily Star - referring to the substitute appearance of freckle-Shrek wonderkid Wayne Rooney. But they add: "England are in the last 16... but did'’t they make us sweat!"

It's hot work this World Cup coverage, with hacks believing they have exerted as much effort as the players.

The Mirror takes the same line: "We're ThRoo!" showing that collective relief sparks collective thinking.

The Daily Mail is never happiest than when its grumpy, so they sum up the football by, well, being grumpy: "Against the footballing might of Trinidad and Tobago - and even with Wayne the Wonder back - England still manage to put us through the wringer."

While the Express are obvious fair-weather footie fans by labelling the game: "The great escape as England makes us sweat to the end."

Cans of deodorant all round, we reckon.