Not ideal for headers

If the cap Fritz

A while back the Daily Star cheered our morning with a madcap yarn to divert the eye from their ever-present and ever-under-dressed figure of Jennifer 'what's she famous for?' Ellison.

Or as one of juicy Jen's fellow Scouse types was once prone to say, it was a story about 'the Germans'. Or 'Jerrrrmans', if you prefer.

The truly bonkers headline-grabbing guff depicted much-loved (!) goalkeeper Oliver Kahn cunningly Photoshopped wearing a German First World War spiked helmet (or 'helmut', as they preferred to pun it), as 'news' broke about Germany's footballers' plans to wear protective headgear during their World Cup matches.

And right on cue, all our old favourite prejudices were trotted out, as if the last 60 years never happened.

Still, it's always worth a hoot.

"On Mein Head Son!" went the front page, weakly, before going on inside about "Germany's soccer softies" and their apparent wish to wear concussion-quelling "lightweight padded bonce protectors" in this summer's tournament.

It's a "Jerry Hat-Trick," claimed the paper, aiming to undermine the "cool heads of England"...blah blah blah, and so it went on.

The Photoshop was then cranked up once again, mocking up David Beckham in a 'Sven's Army' viking-style helmet, John Terry in an English gent's bowler hat, Wayne Rooney in a knotted hankie and Rio Ferdinand in a jester's hat.

As ever, it's all about the football, isn't it?