Cup a load of that, says corker Kate

Hook-up for the Cup

England's "randy World Cup soccer squad" have been offered private tours of "high-class German brothels," over-excited hacks are claiming.

But before any lady readers reach fever pitch about the thought of David Beckham being snapped browsing through the dildo section, we're reminded that the players are "unlikely" to take them up on the offer.

Nah, you don't say.

The good news is that the same rules don't apply for football fans travelling over there. Hooray!

"They (Germany) expect to be invaded by an army of 40,000 sex workers from all across Europe to turn up to cater for the estimated three million fans who will visit a prostitute at least once during the tournament."

Nice.

The Star says the "whore tour" offer - as they've dubbed it - was made to Sven Goran Eriksson's squad after Sweden banned all its players from visiting any brothels.

We reckon they're missing a trick, though, after spokeswoman for the German association of prostitutes, the brilliantly-named Juanita Henning, declared: "We want to give the footballers first-hand knowledge about the trade but they are under no obligation to pay for any of our services."